How Can I Make A Million Dollars-A Spoof On Affliate Marketing

million dollarsHow can I make a million dollars is a question being hear around the world. Well I’m not sure, actually doubtful if it’s being asked around the world but it happens to be a pretty good key word phrase so a good way to stat what’s going to be a fun article about affiliate marketing.
As marketers, we see so much on a daily basis. We see hundreds of opportunities and at the end of the day only a couple are actually good opportunities.

So in this article I want to have a little fun with the affiliate marketing world. I want to deliver a bit of a spoof on what you really should be doing to succeed or actually what the not so good people want you to react like.

I’m going to deliver this extra ordinary information in kind of lesson form. By the time we are done you will no longer have to ask how can I make a million dollars?

>>See Where My Business Comes From

How Can I Make A Million Dollars – Part 1

affiliate marketing blueprint

Just so you know that making money on the internet is so easy that by the time you are done reading this you will have your blue print to filling your bank account by morning.

Well I guess we better get this journey moving so you can start buying homes, cars, toys and anything you want. Actually you are going to need a few days but very soon you will see.

Okay Lets Get This Going

Please remember I know what I am doing so I need you to make the commitment right now that you are going to do exactly as I say. Its very important and I want to hear you say it right now. Okay, okay I know I can’t hear you. Just do what I say if you want to make lots of money.

Okay, the first thing you are going to do on this journey is apply for as many credit cards as possible. Something to understand is you really need to focus on having very high credit limits on these cards. There is a lot of spending coming so you will need the limits. (Just trust me).

The thing you need to keep telling yourself is no matter how out of control the spending gets it’s absolutely necessary to get to where you want to be.
So the next step?

This step is very important and a must for your journey. The first thing you need to do I march right into your bosses office, look him in the eye, call him a big fat loser and finally tell him that you quit.
quit your job

The purpose of being so dramatic is because you can never have a chance to go back. If you go hard core and burn the bridge then you won’t be able to go back. After all you are about to be a millionaire anyway. By burning the bridge you are building your confidence. Now you have made a great commitment because you no longer have a sure pay check to count on. But that’s okay because soon you will be a millionaire.
Now you are on your way to learning
how to make a million dollars. Please do not move forward with these
lessons until you finish the previous lesson first. It is of vital
importance that you follow each step to the T if you want this to
succeed. 


>>This Is A True Blue Opportunity

How Can I Make A Million Dollars – Part 2

Well, now the time to start working on your confidence is going to be a big next step. I am going to teach you how to make so much money that you will be able to swim in it but we first have to make sure you have all the confidence in the world.

So you are wondering how we are going to build the confidence. Well honestly I never thought you would ask. The biggest part about how you will soon be a millionaire is you need to look and act like a millionaire. I know you think this will be costly but remember soon you will have nothing but money. (Trust me.).

Once you have accomplished what I have told you to do then it’s time to start heading home.
I want you to head home but don’t want you to go home. After all you are about to become an affiliate millionaire so there are a few things you need to do to play the part.
expensive car

I don’t care what you are driving it is time to trade it in and drive in the style you deserve. What you buy is up to you but I suggest you spend at least $100 000. Don’t worry about money. Take it on payments because by the time your first payment comes due you will have made enough money in your pajamas to pay off the entire loan.

Once you drive away in your new vehicle I want you to stop and buy some new designer suits. Maybe a Brioni and a couple Gucci. Also these can not be off the hanger but you need to get them custom-made. Make sure they are built by the original tailor. Make sure you pay the extra money to have a rush put on the order as well.

Now that you have ordered your suits you need to stop on the way home and get a brand new phone and also at least or 4 top end computers for what’s going to soon be your home office.
Well you are finally headed home but yo have one more call to make on your way home. Remember no driving and calling so get your blue tooth going and get a hold of a high end contractor. Make it very clear to him that you need your home office remodeled and just for a little incentive throw in $25000 if it’s done in the next 48 hours.

Now your wife when you get home is going to think you dropped your head into a vat of crystal meth. Don’t let this sway you. You can’t hang out with negative people. You come right out and tell her that you are about to make millions of dollars so she just needs to trust you. All you need now is your suits and your home office and the money will start rolling in.

Side Note If You look around and see your wife walking out with suitcases and the kids that’s okay. You just have to ignore it. You are going to need peace and quiet anyways. Once you make millions she will come running home so lets just move on.

>>See The Opportunity That Works For Me

How Can I Make A Million Dollars – Part 3

kitchen table

So the next lesson on how can I make a million dollars is going to be a bit difficult. I’m here to make a promise to you. While this may be a difficult day it will be the only one you will have.
I know by now you are driving yourself crazy wondering why this is going to be a bad day. Well the fact of the matter is things are going to be terrible because you are going to need to work at your kitchen table today. There is also a good chance you may have to work in your pajamas since your suits need a day or two to be finished.

The best thing right now is your wife took the kids and left. That will give you the peace and quiet that is needed for you to start making all the millions that are coming up.
A Very Busy Day Is Ahead Of You

Today is likely to be one of the busiest day in your world of how can I make a million dollars. The first thing you are going to do is head over to Google and do a variety of searches. Use searches like “How do I make money online?”, “get rich online” And any others in the same category. By the time you are done you should have a very extensive list in front of you. While you are doing this make sure you sign up to as many work from home news letters that you can find.
Now it’s time to take on the next step after you have signed up to all the email lists. You need to now head on over to an affiliate site called Clickbank and get that credit card out. What I want you to do now is purchase the top 20 products that focus on making money online. There is no need to do any research because if they are at the top they are obviously the best. Also make sure instead of wasting time you just go ahead and purchase all the up sells.

I know it is almost noon and I know you are pooped and you are wondering how long you are going to have to keep up this pace before the millions stop flowing. Well I’m really sorry to break the news to you that you will have to put in a bit of an effort for a few days.
Now it’s time to do a little work with those 20 programs that you signed up for. I want you to open all of them and focus only on the ones that offer mentorship and set up and forget options. It won’t take you long to recognize them as they will make it quite clear that for quite a bit more money they will offer these services to you.

Don’t even hesitate getting all these extras paid for and started. These options are very much the reason you will be raking in the millions of dollars very soon. I guess you have had a great day by now. You got a lot of stuff set up so it’s time to give yourself a pat on the back. Also I would suggest you head out for a great supper. Maybe steak and lobster and a very exclusive show of some sort.
Little Side Note: The programs that you bought that don’t offer what you want can easily get called out on their money back guarantee. Ah just wait a minute, you are going to be making millions. Just forget about it. They are no longer important so just push them aside and pretend like they never existed.

>>This Opportunity Is Not A Spoof

How Can I Make A Million Dollars – Part 4

Today is one of the biggest days when you ask the question of how can I make a million dollars. Your new office is set up, you have on one of your great new suits and you are ready to get to work to get the money flowing.

The fun part about working from home is you don’t have to put in much time so you should easily be done by noon today.
So, as a reminder I want you to think about all those lists you signed up to yesterday. Well by now you should have hundreds of emails directing you to get signed up to some of the greatest opportunities on the internet. These offers are going to be for some of the greatest opportunities anywhere in the world.

You need to open each one and the only thing you need to focus on is the price of the opportunity. All I want you to do is sign up to any that are going to cost you at least $500 or more. Anything less than that just doesn’t make sense in your journey to millions.
Believe me when I say there will be plenty to choose from. Remember you need to use common sense so make sure you get signed up to the higher priced ones. It only makes sense because these will obviously be the best because they cost so much.
So you have everything signed up so that’s all you need to do today. I told you that today would be an easy day. I think you learned enough today anyways. After all you are in your own business so you are the boss.

Side Note: Your journey in setting everything up will be coming to an end tomorrow.

>>Check Out A Real Opportunity

How Can I Make A Million Dollars – Step 5

Today is one of the biggest days ever. You are going to graduate and you will be an official affiliate marketer who is making millions of dollars

The next step for you is going to work on out sourcing all your work. All you need to do is head over to Fiverr or a similar company and set up an account. Once that is done you can start out sourcing gigs. Just find the people you need and get them working. You will need these posts so be sure to pay top dollar.

This person will be like a virtual assistant to you. You will give them everything they need. First thing you want to do is get them on a retainer so they are exclusive to you. Then you need to give them access to everything. Everything means log ins for all your accounts and credit card info so they can follow up on any up sells you may have not got to yet.

When it comes to trust don’t worry. After all they are on the internet offering their services so how could you go wrong. The great part is now you are pretty much done because now they are going to take care of almost all your marketing needs. Of course they will always have your best interest at heart so feel great about your decision.
Well I would now like to congratulate you as you are the latest graduate of (the biggest scam around) how to become a millionaire overnight with very little time and effort. Below you will get the instructions to the final step.

>>Take A Look At Your New Business

How Can I Make A Million Dollars – Final Step

Well now that you have done everything I taught you so far you are almost at the end and soon the bank account will be over flowing. Everything I taught you is nothing but the truth. Of course how couldn’t it be since everything was researched from the internet. Everything on the internet is the truth.
The only thing left to do now is wait. so what better to do when waiting is take a vacation. That’s right, I’m telling you to take off on a vacation for two weeks, ahh better make it three weeks. After all you just worked very hard to get your million dollar business up and running.
Lets face it, I know many of the opportunities say make money overnight but honestly these are not scams we are dealing with so you will have to wait a few days or more.
Fast Forward 3 Weeks

So here we are 3 weeks later and fresh home from a great vacation. You really can’t wait to get to the mail box to see all the rewards for all the efforts. You can’t believe your eyes. Its all working out just as you were taught. The mail box is full of envelopes. You can’t wait to open them so you can start putting the millions in your bank account.

You start opening the envelopes but you aren’t quite ready for what you are about to see. There are bills, final notices, repossession papers, divorce papers but one thing there is none of is checks.
All you need to do is not panic. After all this is a rinse and repeat business. All you need to do is start things over and don’t worry because things will work out. Now you can breathe again because you are again confident that everything will work out. You once again are sure that the money will begin to flow any second.

>>Here Is My Opportunity

How Can I Make A Million Dollars – Is There A Moral?

Well, to all my readers by now I am sure you have completely figured this article out to be a spoof and full of rubbish. The problem is a lot of this story isn’t so far from the truth in many cases. Maybe things don’t get quite as extreme but it is these kinds of things that are happening.

All honestly the biggest moral is common sense. We are still seeing all kinds of bad opportunities and scams on the internet but it really is your job to do your due diligence and research to make sure you are getting involved with a great opportunity.

After this article many of you may be asking if you really can make money online? The absolute answer on this is yes you absolutely can. I’m not going to lie there are things you need to do. You need to get involved in a great opportunity. You have to be willing to put in time and effort and really maybe even invest a little money. I really do mean a little.

There are ways to get started for free but as you move on in your business there will be a few small things you may want to purchase for your business. Like maybe a domain name or an auto responder. These however are real tools that you need for your business.

My name is Dale and I am an affiliate marketer. I make money every day and I do it with an opportunity that has been around for almost 14 years. The key to what I do is I help others to become successful when they want to work online. Below you can take a look at my website and what has worked for me. Also below you can feel free to leave comments, questions or ideas and I will get back to you as soon as possible.

Check Out My Website

Happy Marketing.

17 Comments on “How Can I Make A Million Dollars-A Spoof On Affliate Marketing”

  1. There are so many products out there that are promising enormous returns with little to no effort. Anyone who still believes that getting rich is achievable overnight will fall into these traps and lose a lot of money in the process.

    In my opinion, approaching an online business like any other in terms of time and commitment is the only way to make it successful. I am sure others will benefit from this honest assessment, as I have, of this product and will stay away from this kind of thing.

    Rich

  2. Your spoof article made me smile! It was totally relatable and I have definitely basically the exact same script you have used for your spoof in many so-called legitimate marketing training sales pitches. I especially liked the part where you said, “apply for as many credit cards as possible with really high credit limits, you’re going to need it,” and “I know what I’m doing so you need to do exactly as I say.”

    Thanks for your lighthearted spin on this!  

    1. You are very welcome.  Im glad it made you smile.  The whole purpose is of course this is a serious issue but I wanted to put a little happy spin on it.

  3. I must thank you for such inspirational and helpful article Dale. Making millions online is definitely possible and I personally know some people who do that. It is not easy at all but it is possible. I think that my brother-in-law should read this article as he always asks himself this question about making millions online.

  4. I keep telling people that if it is on the internet, it is absolutely true!! This is hilarious with an unfortunate dose of truth in it. I agree that all you need to do is wish these opportunities are true, and you will get sucked right in! I am embarrassed to admit I have been taken by a few myself. Nothing worthwhile is free or easy, unless you are born to mega rich parents!

    1. Oh Im sure many of us have been sucked in through the years.  I want people to see that there are good people out there and that they dont need to be ashamed when they look at these opportunities.  These sales people are second to none in the industry.

  5. Nice job bringing some levity to this crazy world of marketing! It really is amazing how many opportunities there are out there to get scammed. All of these sites promising incredible wealth without so much as lifting a finger are hooking people and taking them in every day. It almost seems criminal with the amount of lies that are told to get people to spend their hard-earned money. Hopefully someone will read this article and it will be the wake-up call they need!

  6. Your article about Making a Million Dollars is great. I like the many useless Millionaire maker strategies and the biggest problem that a new one appears every hour. Most of them promise easy success but in the end, they are not giving anything.

    This kind of articles open up the readers’ eyes and will help them to choose a real earning opportunity like the Wealthy Affiliate program. Congrats for the post.

  7. This article is hilarious! But, unfortunately, the underlying reality of what you’re spoofing is all too real and true. I love this unique approach to exposing the world of get-rich-quick scams, and hopefully your over-the-top scenarios will help turn that light bulb on for some people and help them avoid wasting their money. Legitimate opportunities like Wealthy Affiliate don’t need outrageous claims and endless up-sells, and they show us that we don’t have to drain our bank account to create success. But we do have to WORK, and anyone who thinks otherwise should just focus on buying lottery tickets. Because they are sure to get lucky one day, right?! RIGHT?!?! haha  Keep up the good work, Dale!

    1. Thank you for the kind words.  You hit the nail on the head in the fact that we need to work hard.  Once we can educate people of this we could see a lot more successful marketers.

      Dale

  8. This spoof on how I can make a million dollars was a great read and epitomizes the process many will go through when they start with online marketing. This is sad but true. Good that you point this out and maybe will save the people who read through the post to see how money REALLY is made online.

    It is not a cake-walk, there is work involved, and you have to have a plan. Cash up-front you need is minimal, and you do not need a lot of shiny objects, and the rubbish that you will see regarding making millions with no work when you start researching how to make money is just that – rubbish.

    Far better to go with a tried and proven platform that shows you from start to success what you have to do, and also has the resources to help you get it all done. There is a way to make a million dollars, but it is not easy, it is not instant, and frankly, most people will not make that much.

    But you can make an income that is enough to provide for a family and allow you to have a lifestyle that many dream about having. Not one with no work, rather one where you set the terms and conditions. and you can work from wherever you want, as long as you have access to the internet.

    This tongue in cheek look at the art of making money online (a million dollars even) was a good way to get the points across I and you have mentioned. Let’s hope that the people coming by to read this will take action to get a genuine online business in place! 

    1. The words you say are so true.  Thank you for the kind words.  I hope in a funny way many people will heed to my warning and at least let me show them all about wealthy Affiliate.

  9. Hi Dale! Thank you very much for the fun read. Yeah, it is obviously a spoof but I’m surprised on how accurately you have depicted in each stage how many think money can be earned online.

    Building a business and earning a living online can’t just be set on autopilot through some few clicks. You need to work and pay close attention to results. You can’t just go on vacations and let others handle everything for you. Thank you for this great illustration.

  10. I have just read through your site and found your explanation of how many make money on line scams are presented. You almost had me taken in that you were presenting a real website on how easy it could be to make a million dollars in a very short time. However, I felt that by this offer with so many extreme claims,(many websites are portrayed in this way to get traffic fast I believe!) I became convinced that this was leading me to expect you to explain and reveal the true facts about starting an on-line business such as affiliate marketing and pointing in the direction of one of the real genuine offers that is the one and only Wealthy Affiliate. Hopefully, visitors to your site, will follow through to the end and recognise the true benefits of joining W.A. and you will end up with many well informed referrals to W.A.

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